indian bear

What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don’t have the right
What else shoudl I be
All apologies

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
I’m married
buried

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I’ll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezerburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy
All in all is all we all are

Kurt Cobain
2/20/1967 – 4/5/1994

http://www.cobain.com
http://www.justiceforkurt.com

WHy? WHY?!

today at work floyd showed me this CD. i was not prepared for this. it was William Hung’s “Inspiration”. WHAT THE HELL!? he got a friggin record deal with Koch Records (ne’r heard of em) and he covers all these popular songs, from “She Bangs”, “Shake Your Bon-Bon”, “Circle of Live”, “Can You Feel The Love Tonight”, and others. he’s even got a track called “Inspirational THoughts: Passion”, where he talks about how he does this not for the money but for the art of singing. WHAT ART? It’s just a load of crap that this no name label put out to milk some money outa of Hung’s Infamy. apparently it also contains never before seen footage of him. On the cover he sports a Berkley sweat shirt and a big cheesy, crooked-toothed smile. This has got to be one of the lowest points of the music industry.

I’m even more pissed cuz i keep getting these stupid text messages. about a year ago, maybe less, i signed up for Yahoo! text message alerts, on news, weather, sports, and some other stuff. normally its been good alerts. i found there is at least one act of terrorism done almost everyday. neway, its been ringing NON-STOP with these stupid text messages about the pullitzer prizes. thats great, send me a brief summary, or who won the big ones, but not one text message for each winner! and i havent gotten any weather reports for the past week. grr!

iunno why im so angry. maybe its work. we had to move all the fridges, washers, dryers, and oven ranges back onto the floor, cuz they moved them off the tile to wax the tile. thats about 40 washers/dryers, 40 ranges, 40 fridges. all from 6am to 10am.

i also ate some bad meat on saturday. i came home around 5, and my mom was like take food fromt he fridge, and left to go somewhere. i knew there was this noodle thing, and i looked and there was also these steaks. they were in some sauce and pretty good lookin, so i took that along with my mom’s noodles. they were a lil pink, not too pink. medium i guess. and i eat them, and i feel alright i guess. and my mom calls later, “You didnt eat that meat did you? Cuz it’s not fully cooked.” Oops! well im still alive, and i feel alright.

AGH! another friggin text message! as soon as i read one and put my phone downt heres another one! if i break my phone cuz of this im suing Yahoo!

So today was the day i recorded Broken Vessels at Crystal Clear. my first recording session as recording engineer. it was a bit rough, got there at 12 and waited for Joey (the owner) to show up to open up the place. I had never used his equipment before. he thinks ive seen him use it cuz i sat in on sessions, but i only sat in on editting sessions, not recording sessions. neway, most of the equipment was vaguley familiar, and after the first track was laid down i got in the flow.

Joe laid the beats down. HOTT beats. said he used fruity loops. good stuff. reminds me of pharell. kinda looks like him a lil bit too.

messed up a wee bit. first song i wanted them to record each vocal on a seperate track, but guess i wasnt clear, cuz they switched up and where ont he same track. but i think it’ll be alright and we can fix that on the mixing process. after the second song though we had it all worked out, and they knew what to do.

later we were doing phils part and he needed to go over some of his words, and when i went to punch him in, i had forgotten to engage his track. such a stupid rookie mistake. he had to go back and RErecord his lines from that point.

i do have to give em props cuz tehy were well rehearsed and most of it got done in one take, two at the most. except where i messed up the one time.

i coulda been a better engineer. =\ i think i like live sound better than studio, just cuz its a bit more dynamic. then again, we were only recording vocals. there were 6 songs, bout 30 minutes for all of em. 4 vocal tracks, 2 beat tracks per song, all took 4 hours to lay down. we’re gettin together to mix n edit thursday evenin. hopefully ill get more sleep and be able to think properly.

i ate some bad meat. ill write bout that later

last ngiht i only had $45 left in my bank account. today is not a pay day, next friday is. but, when i checked my acount this mornin, well 2 minutes ago, i had MUCH mor than that. i was very confused.

Had i drawn the Chance card: “Bank Error in Your favor collect X amount of dollars”? no i realized when i looked a the amount that it was my tax return. the return for the taxes which i e-filed only less than one week ago! SWEET!

BTW, happy bday Pinky n SHoes! it was yesterday, April Fool’s day. funny, ha. dinner tonight at Uno’s.

if you order food from Red Robin, or other restaurant/diner, and its takeout, not eat-in, do you still have to pay tip? yesterday i ordered lunch from REd Robin at work, and i went to pickit up and i charged it, and there was a spot for a tip. now i think that was just cuz i charged it that it automatically does it, but there is no tip given, right?

and theres a black on black album, mixing Jayz and metallica. yea, mixing Jigga’s black album is fun, but its gettin old now. anyway, heres a link

http://free4.hostrocket.com/~djhalfr/

Jay-Zeezer, inspired by DangerMouse’s grey Album, representin The Pine Valley. could use some work, but not bad for a first timer, then again, im no dj.

before i go to sleep and totally forget. i jsut came up witht his great idear. its for this scholarship, “one person can make a difference” the scholarship was on my mind. and this other movie/film idea was on my mind. but neither were related to each other, until now.

reminder to me: one person is the difference between heaven and hell. HA! got it! sweet!

last night was ICF Coffeehouse. it was good. had a good time. lotsa dances and ppl. no offense to the Busch Campus ICF crew, but i like the NJMTC Coffeehouse better. it was more intimate. the place was smaller and you had to bump into ppl and it was a better setting. this coffeehouse was in a big auditorium and it was eh. Still, it was a lotta fun.

we left from Shoes house around 6 and got to Rutgers Busch Campus around 8ish. i was ahead of everyone but got there bout 5 minutes after them. there were two entrances and i was at the other end, and whatnot. whatever. and im NOT a crazy driver.

they had a skit and it was about this girl whose parents want her to get married. at the end they break out into a well coreographed dance. it was prolly from some bollywood film. iunno, cuz i dont watch much of em. im thinkin i should? maybe not. neway, all the girls were into it doin their thing, but this one girl was REALLY into. she was superstar bollywood dancer, she put her whole body and head and everything into it. everyone else was just going through the motions kinda thing. The guys were good too, but no one was into it like that girl. Nina was in it. Go Nina!

Frontlynaz went up, they were good. the sound was off. we were sittin int he back and where we were the vocals werent comin in well. Around 10 there was a break for food. mm, good food. it was indian food, chore, chicken curry, njaan, other curries, good stuff. there was also lotsa chocolate.

There were a few more acts and Zoa got on at the end, last act. kinda sucked, cuz most people had already left. it was about 11:15 when they got on. it all ended around 12. we left and got to Shoes place around 2, home at 230.

When i got home my brothers were watchin Mad TV in the family room. iunno why they were up. i went upstairs and watched some short Indie flicks c/o Atom Films. and figured id stay up until i had to go to work. Work was at 6, so if i slept id have to get up at 530. around 3 i decided itd be best to get two hours of sleep, than no sleep and be dead tired all mornin. so i went to bed, woke up and went to work, early.

When i got there it was 545, very early. I have never been that early in the last year, maybe longer. 6 o’clock rolled around, and no one was to be seen, except the cleaning guy. i called my merch manager and left her a message, cuz she was the only manager whose phone i had. she came aroun 7, the manager that was supposed to open came around 715. it was surprising, cuz he is almost never late.

today we had a meeting for about 3 hours, so my work was really a whole lotta nuttin, but i got paid for all four hours. woo, no hoo. the meeting was about restructuring the way the company works. its a big change, we have 6 managers now, instead of 5. no, wait, 7 managers. dayum! and three of them are brown nosers, two of the three really get on my nerves, one of the two just UGH! and my former merch manger, shes now a supervisor and she had to take a paycut. what sux is she wasjust promoted. there are people in the store that have been around longer than some of these aholes, that i think should be given these positions. but whatever.

1130, i need to sleep. gotta get to chruch early so i can run sound. need to learn to read Malayalam so i can run the Malyalam song projections.

Did you know Malayalam is a palindrome? i know its an old factoid, but i wonder if its still a palindrome when you spell it with malayalam letters. hmmm… BTW, notice the title? got it from here.

im a lil peeved at myself. havent gotten around to finishing my Flash version of this site. Laziness is bad.

I was so tired today. i had work at 6 and they said that Brad Anderson, the CEO or pres or whatever of Best Buy, was comin. fo shizzle?! so everyone was on their toes working extra hard, until we realized it was prolly a scam by management or district HQ to get us to work harder. neway i left at 230 n he dint show up.

ever see the movie Seven? with Brad pitt and Kevin Spacey. its about a guy who kills people who have committed one of the 7 deadly sins. and the guy who was lazy, or a sloth, he was tied down to his bed so he coudlnt move and left to die and rot. there might have been more to it, been a while, but that was the general idear. (yes there is an ‘r’) he died and his body was eaten away at n what not. neway, joe at work said im gonna wind up like him, cuz i was being a sloth today.

the weather was so great today. we had a lil picnic outside for lunch, sat out in the parking lot on the side. we need to put a table n benches there. i drove home and actually had to turn on the fans and roll down the window.

theres this song by delirious called Heaven. its awesome. i love delirious. not enough ppl listen to them. i wanan play delirious songs with Tonal, but that’ll have to wait till summer prolly when we can actually practice.

i need a new hard drive. i found that if i get a RAID 0 setup on my computer my videos will encode and render lil faster. at least thats how the theory goes. plus, i need a 40 GB hard drive to act as my C: cuz my SATA drive wont work right with two IDE drives. i know, techno jargon. also need a camcorder so i can film stuff. seriously, should i be a film student?

iunno what happened to me. all through school i got great grades. i was such a geek, still am a bit. i got all As and a few Bs, up until 8th grade. thats when i got my first D. it wasnt too bad, it was Health, i just got lazy in that class. then 9th grade was mediocre, wasnt real bad, but got a few Cs. tenth is when i really fell off the smart train. not aht i got dumb, just my GPA fell and i dint work hard. early case of senioritis maybe?

i just looked at classes and said, what am i doin here? i did alright in english, math was eh, i enjoyed it, but i wasnt focused on it, social studies was always fun, and science was fun too. my problem was my work ethic. i just dont like workin on things that serve no purpose to me. i did my labs, but never turned in reports. i understood them, just dint want to do any more work, cuz it wasnt enjoyable to me entirley, and i saw it having no effect on my future. English, i liked writing essays, even if they were written last minute. i was, and still am, good at it.

i knew i wasnt going to be a doctor or a scientist or anything like that. i could if i wanted to, but i dint want to. i dont want a career where i have to work late into the night and around the clock at ajob i dont like just to make a ton of cash. i want to work hard at something i enjoy doing. if i become a doctor, it’ll be because i enjoy being a doctor, not because thats where the money’s at.

people always tell me that music is not a good profession. when i was a CS major they said CS is not a good field. its never about a good field, or good money with me. i do want that, but i want to ENJOY the rest of my life. i dont want any regrets about what i did or didn’t do, and that which could have been.

i do worry that im heading for a big let down, so im expanding my horizons, now im thinkin about going into film. iunno if i want to go to school for it, or just try it on my own. ive thought about MIS, and i very much want to work in a business environment, but the whole academic environment doesnt suit me. its ugh.

iunno, maybe ill just work retail for the rest of my life. what a drag. i jsut gotta get more disciplined.