indian bear

twenty years of selfish pride
i tried to hide
i cant deny
My ears they burn
with words i’ve heard
i can’t discern
The knots inside my heart take hold
i seem so cold
leave me alone
i shut and lock my doors
this place is not yours
you’re on foreign shores
Stay out of my way
im alone today
i have options to weigh

this wasnt always the pattern
not that it matters
but i seem to be scattered
its been growin since 96
dont know what it is
but its where it begins
the lack of focus on my part
following my heart
but my brain doesnt start
the road that is less traveled
is the one that i unravel
yet, i’m tempted by paved gravel

speak words to soothe me
but but jsut let me be
im tired of the monotony
i’d write on blackboard wiht fingertips
or shred my bones to bits
than hear my name on your lips
im sure you mean well
but how much mroe can i tell
that your presence does not do me well
you dont seem to understand “No!”
so i ahve no respect to show
id rather see you in the belly of a volcano
these words may be harsh
but i didnt even start
to speak from the heart
but my focus is adrift riight now